In today’s digital age, finding love online has become more common than ever. Unfortunately, it’s also become a playground for fraudsters who exploit people’s emotions to steal millions. Romance scammers often use social media, messaging services, and dating apps to groom their victims, eventually leading them into elaborate traps designed to drain their finances and shatter their trust.
According to the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau, romance fraud is on the rise, with 8,792 cases reported last year—a nearly 10% increase from the previous year. Victims lost almost £100 million, but the financial loss is just the tip of the iceberg. The emotional and psychological toll of being deceived by someone you thought you could trust can be devastating.
Let’s dive into the stories of two victims who were scammed through dating apps and explore how you can protect yourself from falling into the same trap.
James’ Story: From Love to Crypto Scam
James, recently heartbroken and vulnerable, matched with someone named Emma on Tinder. She quickly showered him with compliments and insisted on moving their conversation to WhatsApp. Although James was initially suspicious, he continued chatting with Emma, who soon deleted her Tinder account, making their interaction feel more personal and exclusive.
Emma claimed to be living in Malaysia and working at a stock exchange, with ties to the UK. She even managed to video call James twice, albeit briefly, showing him an empty office that James assumed was her late-night workspace.
Soon, the conversation shifted to trading, with Emma urging James to invest in cryptocurrencies. Although James had reservations, he was so captivated by Emma and the prospect of meeting her that he opened an account on the platform she recommended.
Before long, James was convinced to buy crypto via bank transfer, only for Emma to become increasingly focused on money and investments rather than romance.
When James could no longer afford to buy more crypto, Emma pressured him to take out loans. By the time he realized he’d been scammed, James was out nearly £6,000 and burdened with over £12,000 in debt. Thankfully, the loan companies allowed him to pay off the loans without interest, but the damage was done.
Jennie’s Story: A Costly Deception
Jennie, another victim, connected with a man on the dating app Hinge. Like James’ scammer, this man quickly moved their conversation off the app to Google Chat and WhatsApp.
Over three weeks, Jennie built what she believed was a genuine connection with him, only for him to fabricate a story about needing financial help while traveling in Hamburg.
He asked Jennie for £7,500 to buy machinery for his company and another £3,500 for shipping costs, promising to repay her once his blocked bank account was sorted. He even sent fake invoices and contracts to back up his claims. Eventually, he convinced Jennie to open a crypto account to transfer the money to his supposed solicitor.
It wasn’t until she considered selling her jewelry to continue helping him that Jennie had a moment of clarity. She cut off contact, changed her phone number, and reported the scam to her bank. In the end, she lost £22,000, though her bank was able to block a payment of £1,300.
Tips for Safeguarding Against Romance Scams
Romance scammers are skilled at manipulating emotions, but there are signs you can watch out for to protect yourself:
Delayed Meetings: If you’ve been speaking to someone for a while and they avoid meeting up in person, be cautious.
Too Perfect Photos: If their profile pictures look too good to be true, use a reverse image search tool like TinEye to see if the images are being used elsewhere online.
Moving Off the App Quickly: Be wary if they want to switch from the dating app to another platform like WhatsApp too soon.
Lovebombing: Scammers often shower you with compliments and affection right from the start, making you feel special to lower your guard.
Secrecy: If they ask you not to share details of your conversations with friends or family, this is a red flag.
Money Requests: Asking for money or trying to get you into investments or trading schemes is a major warning sign.
If you suspect you’re dealing with a scammer, report their account using the in-app reporting features of the dating app. If you’ve already fallen victim, contact your bank immediately and report the fraud to Action Fraud or call the police on 101 if you’re in Scotland.
What to Do if You’ve Been Scammed
If you’re the victim of a scam, some banks are signed up to the voluntary Contingent Reimbursement Model Code (CRM) for bank transfer scams, which requires them to take steps to protect customers and reimburse those who are not at fault. While not all banks participate in this scheme, it’s worth contacting your bank to see if they can help recover your funds.
Romance scams can happen to anyone, and they’re becoming increasingly sophisticated. By staying informed and vigilant, you can protect yourself from falling prey to these deceptive schemes and find genuine connections online.
Navigating the Emotions of Being Scammed and How I Can Help
When you realise you've been scammed, it’s natural to experience a whirlwind of intense emotions. Understanding these feelings and knowing how to address them can make a significant difference in your recovery process. Here’s what you might go through and how I can assist:
Common Emotions After a Scam
Shock and Disbelief: At first, it’s hard to accept that you’ve been deceived. The initial shock can be overwhelming as you try to come to terms with what has happened.
Anger and Frustration: Feelings of anger towards the scammer and frustration with yourself for being duped are common. You might feel betrayed and irritated that your trust was misused.
Embarrassment and Shame: It’s normal to feel embarrassed or ashamed, fearing how others will view your lapse in judgment. These feelings can make you feel isolated and alone.
Fear and Anxiety: Concerns about the potential fallout, such as financial loss or identity theft, can lead to anxiety. You might worry about whether your personal information could be misused.
Sadness and Grief: The realisation of being scammed can bring about sadness and a sense of loss, whether it's money, personal information, or the trust you once had.
How I Can Help
Offering Reassurance and Support: I’m here to listen and understand your experience. Having someone supportive can help ease feelings of isolation and provide comfort during this tough time.
Clarifying the Situation: I can help you make sense of what happened and why it wasn’t your fault. Understanding the scam can reduce self-blame and frustration.
Providing Practical Assistance: I can guide you through the necessary steps to address the situation, such as contacting your bank, reporting the scam, or securing your accounts. Taking action can help you regain a sense of control.
Educating on Prevention: I’ll share insights on how to recognize and avoid future scams. Empowering you with knowledge can boost your confidence and help protect you going forward.
Fostering Positive Action: Together, we can focus on actionable steps and positive outcomes, turning your experience into a learning opportunity and helping you move forward.
If you’ve been scammed and need support, know that you don’t have to go through this alone. I’m here to help you navigate the emotional and practical aspects of recovery. heather@heatherprince.co.uk
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