You are now solo after being involved in a relationship. Was it toxic?
What do I mean by toxic?
Controlling
Guilt tripping
Overly jealous
Manipulating
Ignoring
Abusive
Overly defensive
Playing the victim
Overly selfish
Let me be clear, I am not judging anyone. Those people displaying toxic behaviours are struggling with inner turmoil. They may have experienced little or big trauma throughout their lives and this caused them to head down a path where they picked up toxic attitudes and behaviours.
Being involved in a relationship with someone with those behaviours can cause you to feel upset, drained, imprisoned, unsafe, etc. And now you're solo and may be feeling
angry, fearful, vulnerable, lonely, resentful, hurt and stuck!
If you were with someone who belittled and put you down all the time, or they got drunk almost every night and couldn't hold a job, leaving you to take care of the bills -the energies of that experience stays with you, until you learn to let it go. It's definitely something you don't need to take into your next relationship to repeat the same pattern!
It is helpful for you to learn to lovingly detach. I say loving because you’re learning how to step into YOUR POWER. And, in doing so, you’re not going to move forwards and attract someone with similar behaviour patterns ever again! To live in freedom and joy, it is necessary to understand why letting go and detaching from the past is vital. Detaching can play out in different ways. For one it may mean completely cutting off all contact for a while.
another, it could mean limiting time spent and time thinking about that person. It's important to learn more about setting and keeping boundaries, learning how to set boundaries, how to keep them, and give yourself permission to lovingly detach from those that continue to abuse those boundaries.
Heather Prince is Founder of the Fearlessly Moving Forwards Method
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